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is this thing on?
Oct. 9th, 2023 07:28 pmOKAY. Longform journaling attempt, here we go.
Over the past week I have been thinking about the hellsite imploding a slow implosion, and how I feel about that--and one of my conclusions is that I want a healthier relationship with social media moving forward. As much as I love being able to regularly see what all my friends are up to, especially friends in other countries who I don't get to meet up with in person, I've been feeling increasingly like I don't want to depend on my feed to know how the people in my life are doing, and I don't want the extent of my interactions with people to just be tweeting and having them reply. It feels like the bar peanuts of conversation, or something--you can like bar peanuts just fine, and sometimes bar peanuts is really all you want, and occasionally you discover the bar peanuts at one place are insanely delicious and months later you still find yourself remembering them and going 'dang, those were some good bar peanuts!' But still, they'll never replace a home-cooked meal.
I want to be the kind of person who can do home-cooked meals again. Talking still feels scary almost all the time, after everything, and it's stupid that I get about the same amount of anxiety talking to an old friend as I do a new one these days, but I'd like to think I'm brave enough to at least try.
In other scary things: editing (argh). I finished reading Debra Dixon's "GMC: Goal, Motivation, Conflict" recently on the recommendation of another writer friend--it's funnily outdated in some parts, and Kiki thinks the cover makes it look like a MIMS book, but it did give me a couple of much-needed revelations that helped me fix my outline. It's also not as prescriptive (or smug!) as "Save the Cat," though I think that would be a good complementary resource for this, especially for people who want to write stuff that's more commercial or high-octane. Anyway, all that to say The Outline Has Been Edited, and in spite of all the swathes of blank space in the third act I have a better idea of what I'm writing towards now. Making a promise to myself that I'll have this draft finished before the year is out, so I have something to send the dads in the new year.
Ceece and I had lunch and coffee over the weekend; we'd planned to go to the small book festival in the theatre lobby a couple of streets over, so we walked there (after dodging what seemed like an entire flock of chickens on the sidewalk) and came away with an extremely modest haul of two books each. While we were sitting on one of the benches waiting for the theatregoing crowd to clear out, I asked her if she remembered all the things we tried to co-write in the past, and if she'd ever thought about why none of them ever worked out, and she said she had; her theory is that we just have different processes. Which was also kind of a revelation for me, because for a long time I felt like we were doing something wrong (or I was doing something wrong?)--but I realized I'm more at peace now with the idea that your best friends won't necessarily be your best creative partners, and vice-versa. I cherish the friendships I have wherein we can make things together without feeling obligated and equally find joy in the making, but it helps to remember it doesn't make the friendship any less valuable or important or special if we can't or don't want to make things together, too.
Trying to cram in a bunch of the JFF+ films this week before life gets 200% more busy, so I should probably get away from the laptop now. Id est: a Chrome tab I can close! huzzah and hurrah!
Recent media: Bojack Horseman, Succession, The Creator, Lonely Castle in the Mirror, Eddy Burback and Ted Nivison's Margaritaville videos.
Recent games: The Isle Tide Hotel, Marvel SNAP (again), Pajama Sam 1, Freddi Fish 2, Everdell (always).
Recent reads: GMC, The Bright Young Things trilogy, The Magicians, dirgewithoutmusic's Susan fics and other assorted Narnia fanfic, Unteachable, Yellowface (again), My Quarantine Diary.
FF14 state of the nation: I need to rescue [redacted] so I can strangle him myself; I, too, want to build a workstation at the bottom of the ocean where no one will bother me.
DND state of the nation: TRAIN BATTLE VICTORY.
Guitar: "Heaven" by Niall Horan, "Supermarket" by Kings of Leon, "Fifteen" by Taylor Swift, the theme song to Zoboomafoo.
Current concerns: Lorcana, the 20cm Urianger doll I will have to dress in K-pop clothes, time capsule note, is there such a thing as owning too many pairs of the same cycling shorts.
Over the past week I have been thinking about the hellsite imploding a slow implosion, and how I feel about that--and one of my conclusions is that I want a healthier relationship with social media moving forward. As much as I love being able to regularly see what all my friends are up to, especially friends in other countries who I don't get to meet up with in person, I've been feeling increasingly like I don't want to depend on my feed to know how the people in my life are doing, and I don't want the extent of my interactions with people to just be tweeting and having them reply. It feels like the bar peanuts of conversation, or something--you can like bar peanuts just fine, and sometimes bar peanuts is really all you want, and occasionally you discover the bar peanuts at one place are insanely delicious and months later you still find yourself remembering them and going 'dang, those were some good bar peanuts!' But still, they'll never replace a home-cooked meal.
I want to be the kind of person who can do home-cooked meals again. Talking still feels scary almost all the time, after everything, and it's stupid that I get about the same amount of anxiety talking to an old friend as I do a new one these days, but I'd like to think I'm brave enough to at least try.
In other scary things: editing (argh). I finished reading Debra Dixon's "GMC: Goal, Motivation, Conflict" recently on the recommendation of another writer friend--it's funnily outdated in some parts, and Kiki thinks the cover makes it look like a MIMS book, but it did give me a couple of much-needed revelations that helped me fix my outline. It's also not as prescriptive (or smug!) as "Save the Cat," though I think that would be a good complementary resource for this, especially for people who want to write stuff that's more commercial or high-octane. Anyway, all that to say The Outline Has Been Edited, and in spite of all the swathes of blank space in the third act I have a better idea of what I'm writing towards now. Making a promise to myself that I'll have this draft finished before the year is out, so I have something to send the dads in the new year.
Ceece and I had lunch and coffee over the weekend; we'd planned to go to the small book festival in the theatre lobby a couple of streets over, so we walked there (after dodging what seemed like an entire flock of chickens on the sidewalk) and came away with an extremely modest haul of two books each. While we were sitting on one of the benches waiting for the theatregoing crowd to clear out, I asked her if she remembered all the things we tried to co-write in the past, and if she'd ever thought about why none of them ever worked out, and she said she had; her theory is that we just have different processes. Which was also kind of a revelation for me, because for a long time I felt like we were doing something wrong (or I was doing something wrong?)--but I realized I'm more at peace now with the idea that your best friends won't necessarily be your best creative partners, and vice-versa. I cherish the friendships I have wherein we can make things together without feeling obligated and equally find joy in the making, but it helps to remember it doesn't make the friendship any less valuable or important or special if we can't or don't want to make things together, too.
Trying to cram in a bunch of the JFF+ films this week before life gets 200% more busy, so I should probably get away from the laptop now. Id est: a Chrome tab I can close! huzzah and hurrah!
Recent media: Bojack Horseman, Succession, The Creator, Lonely Castle in the Mirror, Eddy Burback and Ted Nivison's Margaritaville videos.
Recent games: The Isle Tide Hotel, Marvel SNAP (again), Pajama Sam 1, Freddi Fish 2, Everdell (always).
Recent reads: GMC, The Bright Young Things trilogy, The Magicians, dirgewithoutmusic's Susan fics and other assorted Narnia fanfic, Unteachable, Yellowface (again), My Quarantine Diary.
FF14 state of the nation: I need to rescue [redacted] so I can strangle him myself; I, too, want to build a workstation at the bottom of the ocean where no one will bother me.
DND state of the nation: TRAIN BATTLE VICTORY.
Guitar: "Heaven" by Niall Horan, "Supermarket" by Kings of Leon, "Fifteen" by Taylor Swift, the theme song to Zoboomafoo.
Current concerns: Lorcana, the 20cm Urianger doll I will have to dress in K-pop clothes, time capsule note, is there such a thing as owning too many pairs of the same cycling shorts.
